The Personal Trainer Who Trained Me How to Stay Out of the Gym

Seven years ago I hired the best personal trainer in Los Angeles. Actually, he was the manager of all of the other trainers.  It looks like he’s the manager of the whole gym now.

Bay Club Howard Hughes trainer

He trained me how to stay out of the gym machine fake work out rut and do functional exercise that changed my body and my mind. His name is Mr. Tony Allegre at the Bay Club Howard Hughes Center in Westchester, CA 90045. It was called Spectrum back then.

Bay Club trainer 90045

Spooky Spectrum, former home of trainer Jeff Blair. Jeff knows the metabolic formats but Jeff is not a people person like Tony is. Now Jeff is on his own in a dumpy storefront on the north runway of LAX. Spooky situation.

Spooky Trainer

Chauncey Dennis is the personal trainer at the Bay Club who monitors my water usage and coffee intake. On Sunday afternoon I stopped by the Bay Club for a second visit just to take a dump and shower my hole clean, just to keep Chauncey on his game . Tonight is Game 6 of the World Series and I may stop by for a second visit to the Bay Club. It is drizzling in LA and so I am skipping Kundalini yoga in Beverly Hills today. I will practice yoga during a second visit to the Bay Club. Mr. Dennis will have to work overtime to monitor my facilities usage. I always get my money’s worth!

Spooky Halloween in the city. I’ll stay safe at the beach. Have to keep on guard on Halloween. Not driving to yoga class in Beverly Hills feels like beating Halloween at its own game. There are enough spooks like Chauncey Dennis right here in Playa Westchester LAX 90045. Mr. Dennis needs to either fuck me up ass or shut the fuck up because he is creating a need for cosmic creative release in me..

jeffrey cowan

I left Palm Springs because I was I sick of myself for making totally gay choices in life. Now here I am in LA and only repressed homosexuals are hitting on me. Should I step out into gay LA life? My body looks really good. Maybe I should have Andy photograph me naked. 

What do I really want do do in life?

Sleep. I want to sleep naked, fantasize about baseball players making love to me and masturbate. Okay, what next? Do I really want to work hard enough to go out and meet a great guy? Create astounding personal ads for myself? Women? Meeting the right person would be nice. I’m really good at getting quality men I’m just too intense to hang on to them.

I have become extremely discerning lately. I haven’t even contacted Dr. Allen because I don’t want to be with any scary monsters. I live my life like I am on camera and/or might die at any moment. I want to make sure my death portrait is something I can live with for eternity because this is my last incarnation. I’m done after this Dean McAdams manifestation cycles out in forty years or so.

Random Archival Posts