Fish Oil Salesman

A few years ago a celebrity shaman told my mentor Dr. Allen that early Christian cults imbibed fish oil as some sort of sacred Jesus Fish ritual. I really wanted to believe it and used this story as an excuse to increase my daily fish oil intake. However my research turned up nothing about early Christians actually drinking oil or using fish in any ritual health manner. Fish oil happens to be one of my areas of personal expertise.

Desperately Seeking Blog Topics

Fish oil is the only nutritional supplement that I take. For the last thirty years I have been buying 16 oz. bottles of Carlson’s Finest and taking it by the teaspoon for mental and physical well being. Supposedly it is also good for your heart health. Maybe my heavy consumption is one reason I didn’t totally die of a heart attack three years ago.  If I don’t drink Carlson’s my skin gets dry. Plus being an oil advocate gave me my start as a blogger. One of the first non-legal blogs I ever wrote was about fish oil. I just followed my bliss and turned my passion for fish oil into a brand new career as a blogger. Whenever I need to think up a good blog topic, I just take a teaspoon or two of Carlson’s Finest Fish Oil.

Celebrity Universe

In the future, everybody will be Andy Warhol for 15 minutes. My secret is to watch TV with the audio muted. Too much media numbs my consciousness. I resent the mental intrusion of skilled professional actors constantly in my face selling me something. I am in bliss because I just bought my first pair of noise cancelling headphones. I like to tune the world out with white noise. In the future, I will erase anyone I don’t like with my new headphones and select iPhone apps. In the golden silence of blissful solitude I pray and meditate into the cosmic perfection of universal mind.