Birth of a Kundalini Nation
Yogi Bhajan immigrated to America to sell sunglasses & t-shirts imported from his native Pakistan. One day while merchandising display racks at the tourist traps of Los Angeles, California he found himself in West Hollywood cruising the Sunset Strip. His intuition told him to pay attention to the Hollywood flower children in the hopes of marketing his wares to their colorful outsider subculture. Yogi Bhajan himself was from the outsider subculture of the Dalit untouchable caste matrix. Yogi smiled as he considered the fact that all Americans knew was that he was an “Indian from India.” Yogi smiled as he recounted to himself how easy it was to hoodwink these spoiled Westerners into believing there was something special about his turban and his velvet shoes with the turned up toes.
It was 1969, the Summer of Love, and the 5th Dimension’s hit single “Age of Aquarius/Let The Sunshine In” was blaring on his car’s AM radio. Suddenly Yogi Budget came up with a much better business plan than merchandising carousels of sunglasses at the car wash. He batted the fuzzy dice hanging from his rear view mirror out of his line of vision and pointed his car and his dreams in the direction of the stoned hippies meandering down Sunset. Jesus freaks, out in the streets, handing tickets out for God. Turning back, she just laughs, the boulevard is not that bad.
Yogi followed the flower children in his car and turned down La Cienega Blvd. where he found a crowd congregating in front of a Melrose Avenue bookstore/vegetarian restaurant. Yogi Bhajan made the scene and invested in a Saraswati Sivananada tome on left hand tantric yoga and meditation. Yogi sat down to eat some decent food at the lunch counter and study his new book. Guru Singh wandered into the restaurant tripping on acid while strumming his guitar and singing “Long Time Sun” by the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band. Yogi said: “You suck but I like the song. You need a meal ticket and I need a music director so let’s deal.” Together they created the Aquarian Teacher’s Manual in that Melrose Avenue Bookstore.
At that time Yogi Bhajan was already forty years-old and so he bricolaged a mostly sitting down and female focused version of Kundalini yoga based upon the song lyrics: “This is the dawning of the Age of Aquarius”. Yogi Bhajan didn’t know a lot about real kundalini yoga so he just had everyone sit in a room and repeat the same kriyas in a marathon format until everyone was worn down and burnt out.
Girls Just Want to Have Guns
Yogi Bhajan created a new religion promising women that they will become the dominant socio-political matriarchal system ruling the world in the so-called Age of Aquarius.
Yoga West Has Deleted Me From Their Email List
Now thirty years later the untouchable caste Dalit Sikhs at Yoga West have deleted me from their yoga class email list. Unlicensed sex therapist Ann Bradney has also deleted me from her email list. Registered sex offender and convicted child sex trafficker John Herriot has even deleted me from his CMEN West Hollywood gay sex party mailing list. I finally got what I wanted for Christmas. It has never felt better to be an independent thinker in America. Time for me to say goodbye to Hollywood.
Dya Kaur Wants Me to Shut Up and Go Away
Dya Kaur sent me a text asking me to remove my posts about her. She says she wants to heal the trauma she inflicted upon me but that it is not her fault. What Dya wants is whatever is best for Dya Kaur. If she really wanted to heal the relationship she would invite me to one of her yoga classes but instead Yoga West deleted me from their email list. Dya Kaur would stab Yoga West in the back and throw them under the bus if it would advance her position. Suddenly I am really angry that Dya Kaur has the audacity to ask me to take down my articles about what happened to me at Yoga West. These posts are my legacy. These articles are the only way I have of telling my story. These posts provide a cipher for the next prospective kundalini yoga teacher training student at Yoga West. Say goodbye to West Hollywood and try Venice, California.
Say Goodbye to West Hollywood
I used to think that kundalini yoga and so-called chakra balancing was the gold standard until I spent six months trying to get some decent yoga instruction out of Yoga West in West Hollywood. Bhajanist kundalini teachers are not really teachers because Bhajanists do not believe in actually physically correcting students. Even if you give a Bhajanist teacher permission they will not come down off of the teaching platform and physically touch you to correct your asanas. This is because Yogi Bhajan didn’t get up off his fat lazy Dalt ass and come down off the platform to properly teach his students. What if I get injured at Yoga West while Dya Kaur is just staring at me hoping I will break my neck, paralyze myself and die? Good thing Yoga West deleted me from their email list. Say goodbye to Hollywood.