Tantric Celibacy Coach
I only heard about Psalm Isadora’s 2017 suicide a month ago. Her death at age 42 was a great big wake-up call for me as Dr. Allen’s nude tantra workshop coach. Her suicide by hanging scared me straight, or at least back to bisexual. Cops say that people who hang themselves are saying “fuck you” to the world.
Better Off Alone
Focusing on tantric sexuality was not the answer for Psalm and it is not the answer for me. My answer is celibacy and sacred tantric masturbation but I don’t think I will become a coach. Not if it is going to kill me. Psalm focused on teaching and coaching tantric sexuality and it killed her. Spirituality is the answer but Psalm knew that there is more of a market for sex coach. Psalm created a successful business empire and made money selling sex because that’s what people want. People want to do something for their spirituality, but that is not necessary. It is not necessary to do yoga but it helps. Tantric masturbation is not required for higher states of consciousness but it helps because you spend less time in the material world chasing down sex partners. I learned that from Napoleon Hill in Think and Grow Rich.
The Real Thing
Psalm Isadora had real tantra credentials, not like Yogi Bhajan’s questionable tantra credentials. Psalm was the real thing but it didn’t do her one bit of good because the flesh will always eventually decay and let you down with the rest of the material world. The answers are spiritual things that are spiritually discerned. My non-existent tantra credentials are private tutoring from a gynecologist so I will just write about tantric masturbation coaching in this blog.
Gay Sex Education | Dr. Paul Allen, Certified Sexological Bodyworker
I was privileged to receive an in-depth tantric education from sexologist Dr. Paul Allen, ob gyn during the years that he completed his graduate sexological bodywork courswork in Australia with Dr. Joseph Kramer. Dr. Allen’s teaching assistant Julia even used me as her partner for her lab work. Being with Julia made me realize how much more energy men bring to the sexual table. Great sex with men is always better than great sex with women. There is just so much more action taking place.
Why Do You Think They Call it “Gay”?
It is called gay because it is easy and fun, but masturbation is even easier and gayer. Sexologists like Dr. Joseph Kramer will teach you that the key to sexuality is masturbation. The graduate thesis in sexological bodywork is a circle jerk. The graduate candidates must masturbate together in an old school gay circle jerk-off. This precious, priceless piece of information saved me tens of thousands of dollars in both sex education classes and sex therapy. This information saved me a lifetime of sexual depletion. In order to learn to please another person sexually you must first learn to please yourself. Thank God Norman Mailer taught me not to leave my best writing in bed. It is too easy to fuck your life away when you are good at receiving anal sex from power tops. Sexologists will also tell you that the partner receiving sexual intercourse is deriving the most pleasure. I learned that from a sex coach named Tony at the OC Bears Pool Party. Being a gay bottom is a learned form of sexual evolution and higher consciousness.
Homosexuality Is Masturbation
Masturbation is an important component of gay sexual intercourse. Gay life is really one big lesson in beating off. Gay social life is a huge public and private circle jerk. The key is to realize that everyone is responsible for their own masturbatory orgasm masquerading as gay intercourse. The answer is sexual awareness. How many times do you need to go through the same door? I have two perfect lovers in Palm Springs and I have not seen either one in years. I talked to Jackhammer Johnny Quinlan a few days ago and I get a rush just thinking about him while I do it alone. Old age is the perfect time to focus on anal masturbation. The human immune system naturally breaks down with age. When we are older we are more susceptible to infections. Old people should not go to gay bathhouses. The grotesqueness of Dr. Allen and gay life makes it easy for me to stay scared straight. Dr. Allen likes to inject his twelve inch cock with erection drugs and hang out at Roman Holiday. I laugh and cringe at the unholy sight of Dr. “Shrek” Allen getting lots of action and acting as a coach in a gay bathhouse. Wherever we went men would flock to his immense penis. Thinking about the hideousness of Dr. Allen makes it feel good to be self-contained.
New York Sex Coach
In 2010 I was at the Museum of Sex on 5th Avenue in New York when I had one of the most sexually enlightening experiences of my life. There are an anatomically correct set of male and female bodies set side by side. I put my left hand up the woman’s vagina and ancient memories flooded my emotions. I grabbed the man’s penis with my right hand and the newness of gay life opened up on the left side of my brain. I decided that there was more power and action in the cock than the pussy. For the next few years I focused on gay life until I was satiated. I spent the next few years in an intensive homosexual education to learn that the key is masturbation. Dr. Allen was a really great masturbation coach. I can still hear him laying next to me intoning: “Dance tantrika dance, hold your seed, hold your seed, dance tantrika dance.”