Vitamin Shoppe Girl

Ten years ago I started buying all of my fish oil online thanks to a Vitamin Shoppe sales girl’s anal attention to detail in Westwood, California.  I had just purchased approximately $50.00 in vitamins and fish oil from the Vitamin Shoppe and when I went to my car I suddenly felt the normal need to urinate. So I walked back into the Vitamin Shoppe and asked the girl if I could use her restroom.

One Door Closes and a Dozen More Open

For some reason she gave me a negative response and so then I asked her if I could leave my car in the parking lot while I went next door to the Falafel house to use their restroom. When again she responded in the negative I went out into the neighborhood, chose a restaurant, and ate a leisurely meal. All the while I had my $50.00 Vitamin Shoppe receipt in my wallet and a firm resolution in my mind. The Vitamin Shoppe girl’s anal attention to detail was a source of enlightenment for me. From then on, if a chick turned me down, I just went and found someplace else to get my needs met.

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That was the last time I ever bought anything at the Vitamin Shoppe. That was the beginning of the end of me buying expensive vitamins. From that day on I began buying anything and everything that I could online. It makes sense. Shopping in Los Angeles can eat up a half day of your life. My goal in life is to only go out when I have too. The less and less need I have for women, the better I feel about my life. I want nothing from women and I have even less to give them.

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Learning Curve

When you are young you don’t know anything and so every experience is a new and valuable learning experience. My solution was to always hang out with older, intelligent, and more experienced people. The first person ever to insert a finger into my anal canal was a Jewish girl who is now an attorney.

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Anal Education

Can you imagine the complex learning curve involved in learning about anal sex? It takes a very long time to learn how to receive anal sex. The good news is that anal sex is still one of the hottest topics on the Internet. So if you write blogs about anal sex, your website will receive a ton of visitors!

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Successful Learning Curve | Before & After Dr. McDuff

Can you imagine the excitement of being a young man in the big city learning about anal sex? All you do is walk into a gay bar or boathouse and say, “Hi, I’m new around here, what’s up!” When I first met Robbie Orenstein and Dr. Paul McDuff Allen, I didn’t enjoy being anally penetrated by another man. I used just conduct myself like a bisexual who let older men perform fellatio upon me, without my reciprocation. Then I met Dr. Allen the sexologist and he taught me how to receive anal penetration. I climbed the steep learning curve of anal sex and now one of my favorite sexual pleasures is to be anally penetrated in a multi-orgasmic, non-ejaculatory rapture.” 

End of an Era

Unfortunately my learning curve for anal sex is over. To continue any further would be redundant. I have learned almost everything that there is to know about anal sex and now I am learning the intimate details of tantric anal masturbation. I have removed myself from the microbial stew. If a super hot stud grabbed me that would be okay. But I don’t settle anymore. I don’t compromise. Now that I am sixty-one years-old I can’t be with older men anymore.