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Now that I have my own cosmic Christ consciousness what I really desire is Christian community. Christian community is all that I really get from Agape International Spiritual Center in Culver City. Now I need to find Christian fellowship or something like it in Palm Springs before all these old desert queens bore me to death with their endless chattering.
Christian Community: You Are Who You Hang Out With
Finding enlightened Christian Community can be very difficult for a sixty year old celibate bisexual. Even in California. Many Christian churches are openly against homosexuality. What you resist persists. Finding an authentic albeit celibate pansexual Christian community can be problematic. Christians really want you to fit into a preconceived mold. You really should not tell Christians that you practice yoga. Then you have to be careful about meditation. After that I have my Joel Goldsmith thing going on and I don’t really want to hear any Christian fellowship comment on my main teacher. I don’t really know what I am talking about I am just killing time here waiting for our house guests to leave. I have been blessed and rewarded with a glimpse of my possible future as an elderly Palm Springs homosexual and it is scaring me straight. Their little dog was a joy to be with and it is dangerously tempting to get a dog to talk to but I have been there and done that with Dharma the black German shepherd AA meeting dog. I need to get back to LA and hang out with AA women.
As soon as our guests leave and I finish my day job I will investigate Christian community here in the desert. I am not expecting that much. I am praying for God to give me direction. It is May 2 and soon it will be really hot here in the desert. I would like to somehow get back to Los Angeles. I want to get back to LA and get super social again. I love Primetime AA and Religious Science Services. I can just sit at the beach for days in LA.
Meanwhile I pound out these cosmic consciousness blogs as the allure of this gay desert fades away by the day. All my deviant behavior that I once glorified in has left me bereft. All I can do is say: “God, sorry I messed things up so badly, I’m lost can you please show me the way?” Please send me a slightly overweight fifty-five year old year-old over-educated Jewish spiritual geek chick from Larchmont to save my pathetic life. The woman who sits to the left of me and always wears a dress at early service at Agape with the frizzy hair, she will do fine, thank you. I am suffering the karmic consequences of destroying my relationship with my little Jewish princess Josy Dest forty years ago.
When I look at the old married gay couples visiting my roommate/landlord and walking down the street, I do not want that for my life. Yuck. I would rather be married to an old lady. Maybe some lady who is almost as lonely as me will find this message in a bottle: “Please help I am stranded in the gay desert and I need a woman to set me STRAIGHT.”