COVID-19 Memo to Judy Figueroa, Executive Director MHC
We have a potential infection problem with Mr. Steve Hawkins violating COVID-19 protection protocols. This usually occurs in our community dining hall in the mornings, where Mr. Hawkins sneezes and coughs out large volumes of food and beverage while simultaneously shouting at the top of his lungs, without adequately covering his mouth or nostrils. Mr. Hawkins inappropriate “sneezing” spews out eggs and other food matter across the room during these episodes.
Mr. Hawkins is a large man with a big voice and he gives me cardiac arrhythmia as he bellows out his breakfast with his lion’s roar of dominance. I am not afraid of COVOD-19 but I am concerned about having a heart attack in the dining hall due to Mr. Hawkins disruptions.
In an effort to escape Mr. Hawkins outbursts, I have been eating my breakfast in the Hospitality Room, however, I no longer wish to dine alone anymore. My genuine concern is for my elderly and infirm dining companions.
My one hundred year-old Santa Monica-Palisades Lodge 307 Bro. Rodney Proett, P.M., is currently being treated for fluid in his lungs.
T-4 Tank Technician Proett began WWII chasing Germans off of Omaha Beach and then he chased Germans all the way to Berlin, by way of the Battle of the Bulge. Proett was on a boat headed for Tokyo Bay, when Bro. Harry dropped the big one to quickly end the war, so that Bro. Rodney could come back home to Santa Monica, California. Bro. Rodney survived WWII, but he probably wouldn’t survive COVID-19.
Ninety-three year-old Bro. Roy Haber is constantly congested and coughing. Please note that I am not seeking any confidential medical opinions or legally protected medical information. I just want Mr. Hawkins cover his mouth in the morning.
Regarding your March 11, 2020 Campus Activities Memo
Please be advised that I oppose any visitors whatsoever to MHC. Your memo says that MHC residents should only discourage world travelers. Today I will be building a coalition of residents that support me in totally barring all international visitors. I seek a complete and total lock down of our home with no visitors from foreign countries until further notice. If you can immediately shut down the salad bar, then you can certainly bring our home into compliance during this world-wide emergency.
Our New COVID-19 Take-Out Salads Should Contain the Same Items That Were Available in the Open Salad Bar
I also need to talk to you about the salad bar menus I have been circulating. We need to make the closed salad bar menu as diverse and plentiful as the open salad bar was. If for some reason you don’t want to give the community back the food that was taken away, you need to just come out and say it today, please don’t make me run around crazy with these concerns also. I listen to Dean Arnell’s complaints every morning and the Brother does not like our new minimalist salads.
Here is a proposed draft of what I think a new salad bar take-out menu could look like:
Our Community is Becoming United in Our Opposition to Isolationist Michael Magliato
It feels good to just be honest and express my contempt for the bad vibes that Mr. Magliato creates here at MHC by stealing the community newspapers, running pedestrians off the sidewalk, and making false allegations of death threats and deadly weapons.
The shared community hatred of Michael Magliato has united the warring factions here at MHC and I will be seizing as much political power as possible. Mr. Magliato made false allegations to MHC employees that I made terrorist threats using a deadly weapon. Now it is my responsibility to heal the violence caused by the sinister Mr. Magliato. Thank you in advance for your consideration of my concerns. -Keith
Our new two-page breakfast ticket does not work because with twice as many moving parts, it is twice as easy to break down, to wit, the kitchen does not have my fruit ticket for tomorrow because I did not receive a blank fruit ticket this morning.
Here is a new proposed one-page breakfast ticket designed to prevent that problem: Thank you in advance for your consideration of my concerns. -Keith
There is a serious bad attitude problem going around the Covina Campus just like COVID-19. However this an attitude virus that infects only the mind, and I can see it spreading among the employees.
There are a lot of problems here at the Masonic Home in Covina and that’s okay, because solving problems is my business and business is good. Many MHC employees and residents alike, need to have their attitudes adjusted just like I adjusted Michael Magliato’s attitude. MM was just sitting here minding his own business, not hurting a fly, when I ran up and assaulted and battered his person. However, I never made any death threats and I never had a knife or any type of weapon, except for his bowl of soup and chair that I tossed on top of his bleeding and broken body. All mention of death threats and deadly weapons were intentionally left out of the official reports, in order to give MM a dignified way in which to retract and maybe even apologize for his lies, however MM chose to stick to his self-pitying charade. The best part is that MM gives me hundreds if not thousands of words to publish about him right here on Noodle, the Private Citizen Opinion Blog in L.A.