Democracy Dies In Darkness

Amazon deleted the review I wrote for this Siggi hat because my review said that this hat is gay. Men need a review advising that them this hat will make them look like a homosexual. The purpose of this article is to prevent straight and bisexual men from accidentally looking totally gay. This hat should never be worn by heterosexual males and even bisexuals should probably avoid wearing this Siggi hat in public. If I had of read a review for this hat informing me that my appearance would be judged as homosexual by wearing it, I would never have purchased this gay looking Siggi hat. The reason we have so many problems in America today is because democracy dies in darkness. Reviews on Amazon and Yelp are useless if they are biased in favor of promoting a homosexual fashion agenda.

Heart Attack Number Two

One year ago I had another major heart attack. This possibly fatal event occurred miles from civilization at my motel in Oakhurst, California. The ambulance took me to St. Agnes Medical Center in Fresno where I received excellent cardiac care.

Bright and early one Sunday morning Dr. Sohn popped two stents into my heart and I was good as new. However as soon as my life was out of danger the emergency room nurse had the audacity to quip that my Siggi hat appeared to be feminine in style. It was cold inside the hospital so even though the nurse made me feel uncomfortable I kept my hat on my bald head and wrote her off as an unrefined and unsophisticated hick from Fresno. If this Siggi hat was really unisex then Amazon would have notified me at point of purchase with unbiased reviews, right?

Downtown LA Hipster Reviews The Siggi Hat

When I was walking out of the Whole Foods Market in Downtown Los Angeles a hipster with really cool hair noticed my Siggi hat and his gaze became transfixed. The poor kid actually winced in pain at the sight of my offensively gay hat. I felt so bad I took my gay hat off of my bald head right then and there because I only wanted to be bisexual on that particular day. If I had hair like that hipster I could even walk around as a heterosexual assuming that Amazon approved of it.

Democracy Dies Without Negative Reviews

This morning I wiped my ass with my gay Siggi hat and threw it into the trash for my final review of this Amazon product. For the past few weeks I have only been putting my gay hat onto my bald head in the privacy of my own home in the unseasonably cool 62 degree mornings. However this morning while I was masturbating I thought of the downtown hipster’s look of pain when he saw my hat. In my zeal to make our world a better place I pulled my fingers out of my butt, removed my hat from my head, and wiped my ass with the offending fashion accessory.

Siggi Hats Are Not Inherently Homosexual – They Just Look Like Shit

My intent is to make my community a more enjoyable place to live and alleviate the pain and suffering of this weeping world. Democracy dies without impartial reviews of men’s fashion and so hopefully this blog will make the world a better place. My barely one year-old Siggi hat is in the Woodside open trash dumpster and if anyone picks it up they will see and smell my shitty review. Amazon was right after all, this Siggi hat is not gay, it just looks and smells like shit!