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Liberation

PTSD & EMDR

EMDR Heals Traumatic Memories.

Eye movement desensitizing and reprogramming (EMDR) has brought about a miraculous healing of my posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). EMDR is one of the greatest things to happen in my life since I got sober on January 21, 2004. Step by step, bit by bit, my brokenness has been repaired. All it took was seventeen years of doing the hard work of recovery. EMDR heals traumatic memories by making those events smaller in the minds eye and reducing their painful impact upon present moment consciousness. I have finally found a science that cures the causes and conditions of my alcoholism.

EMDR clears out the broken neural pathways of the suffering alcoholic. Now I understand why and how I drank to kill my emotional pain. I know what caused my alcoholism and it has been radically cleared from my subconsciousness. There is still a little bit of traumatic memory there, but only a fraction of what existed prior to EMDR therapy. Now my trauma is integrated and manageable.

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Putting traumatic memories into their proper place

EMDR integrates traumatic memories into the bigger picture of the here and now. EMDR reprograms memories into their proper place in the arc of my life. If you are serious about recovery you need to investigate EMDR. I cannot stress how important it is for the recovering alcoholic to find and treat with a therapist who practices eye movement desensitizing and reprogramming.

Painful memories are no longer boiling in my subconsciousness

EMDR heals traumatic memories by markedly increasing activity in the prefrontal lobe after treatment. The painful memory becomes more conscious. This is a good thing. My painful memories are no longer unconsciously boiling beneath the surface and causing me to act out my infantile trauma in the present moment.

Now I remember the painful fast as though it were a real memory instead of a phantom. I remember getting hit on the head with a rock as a child. However that traumatic memory is now more distant. Usually, I was perpetually drowning in it, but now I am floating on top. I have the feeling that I am in control of my memories. Now I am in control of my mind. It is like practicing mindfulness.

Before I felt each and every step of seeing the piñata party, turning and going down the side yard, getting hit in the left side of my head by the rock, waking up to the bright operating room lights and then waking up in my grandmother’s bed at the piñata party. Now the memory is like an integrated whole, instead of jagged fragments, so it is more manageable. The trauma has lost its immediacy and become a story about something that happened a long time ago.

Not that I have started to integrate my traumatic memories, I am spontaneously continuing to improve. EMDR seems to good to be true. Too simple to be so powerful in the manner in which it integrates the traumatic material.

Now I think of my trauma as coherent events in the past, instead of experiencing sensations and images divorced from any context. EMDR reorganizes self experience that used to make me feel helpless and reinterprets my perception of the world as a dangerous place. Now I am slowly becoming less reactive and less prone to disintegrate.

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I cannot recover that which I never possessed

It is not so much the feeling that I am recovering my sense of agency. How can I recover what I never had? I am actually gaining a sense of agency that I never had. I have a new found experience of engagement and commitment through ownership of my own body and mind. For the first time in my life I actually know what I am feeling. I can own my emotions. I have become emotionally intelligent.

How do I know if I have PTSD?

Try taking the PTSD Self Test.

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