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Just Hearing People Talk About the Concept of Emotional Sobriety Expedited My Recovery From My Diseased Way of Thinking
Bill Wilson, the co-founder of AA, wrote an essay in 1958 entitled: The Next Frontier, Emotional Sobriety, Bill explains how honestly observing my immature emotional dependencies can help me solve my own mental health problems. I cause my own problems with my often intentionally diseased method of eccentric thinking, doing and being.
Get the App for Emotional Sobriety: Wilson was a social genius who synthesized well-known spiritual principles into an application manual for recovery from alcoholism called the 12 Steps of AA. Aldous Huxley once said that Bill Wilson was the greatest social architect of the 20th Century. 12 Step meetings are by far the most successful social model for treatment and recovery from alcoholism. Hospitals use AA meetings in their own treatment programs, need anyone say more?
By practicing mindfulness I observe myself using defensive personality mechanisms taught to me by my family of origin. By honestly analyzing my own brokenness I can put myself back together again. The good news is that the schism in my emotionally needy, drug addict persona, allows spiritual energy to easily enter.
When I came to AA I was a drunken emotional vampire. After a while in AA I became a sober vampire. To remain in AA I eventually had to stop being a vampire.
Chapter 5 of the book Alcoholics Anonymous makes the amazing claim that I can recover from my emotional and mental disorders if I have the capacity to be honest. What does that mean? It means that I know what the hell my own problems are. The late, great, Wayne Dyer taught that there is no “sub” conscious mind and I think Bill Wilson would agree. Bill would probably say something like: “Uncover, discover, discard.”
Everything I need is all right here in my mind. Everything I don’t need is also right here, right now, waiting for me to discard that which no longer serves me. Sometimes it is as easy and just growing up and stop running around uselessly attempting to gratify my infantile ego with external validation from other people, places and things.
Where is My Emotional Sobriety?
It is time for me to honestly look at my own emotional sobriety or lack thereof. Two weeks ago I observed myself pathetically using fast sex with masculine men to fill me up and satisfy some long ago forgotten need for paternal approval. I disgust myself. I have been using mindless pig sex like a junkie uses cheap Mexican black tar heroin. I don’t even respect myself enough to go the extra mile for the pure China white. Someone with twelve years of abstinence from alcohol should be ashamed of himself and I am.
Emotional sobriety is honestly looking at my own homosexual promiscuity and saying to myself: “You and your little faggot friends have severe emotional problems.” I swear to Christ . . . God told me to put my gay life back in the closet and go mainstream again. My energy goes unbalanced and flatlines hanging out in gay social life these days. There is no authentic masculine – feminine energy dynamic, only dead homeostasis and ridiculous drag queens. In the end gay life is more fake than the straight life it seeks to imitate. Being bisexual is a fuck of a lot of work. I’m going back to being straight in public and bisexual in private.
Since I have my own private personal God and spiritual practice I have been seeking social gratification in mainstream Christian community. I miss the New Thought non-denominational hip spiritual communities like Agape and Oasis up in LA. The Coachella Valley is mainly brand name religion and very conservative lifestyle oriented. All churches now have LBGT ministries but I say why bother? Why identify yourself by your sexuality or your religion? I say go mainstream and keep your sex, politics and religion private like an old world gentleman.
The Catholic Church two miles away has more sophisticated gay people and human energy than the New Thought Church that is walking distance from my villa. I think I like the gays at Mass better than the nude pool party with a playroom crowd. Duh?