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Silence is a Tool
This emotional self-training program module is focused on talking less and enjoying it more. I am thinking more about what I am going to say and talking less. When I hang around with people exactly like me I notice that they all engage in lots of frivolous small talk. I am exactly like the gay, bisexual and pansexual people in my decadent hedonistic all male tribe and we all talk too much. The theory of this blog is that excellent emotional training is to simply be aware of my words. As a result I am talking less and enjoying it more.
A long time ago I was hospitalized for six weeks at an inpatient program for for alcoholism. I thought I was an entertaining and interesting, highly educated, helpful person with lots of good free advice to offer but I was really just an emotionally injured child who denigrated others to compensate for my lack of self-esteem. I was an annoying little gossip who talked too much. I went around causing lots of problems and enjoying it, just like my mother, I was too bold with my mouth and I got smacked for it.
My therapist made me wear an “I am not allowed to talk” sign around my neck for a day. I was forbidden to talk to anyone at all, not even the nurses. My doctor gave me a pad and pencil to communicate with. It was such a bitter truth for me to swallow that I told everyone I was suicidal to get out of it. Of course I was then put on suicide watch. This illustrates my ability to compound the self-destructive tendencies that once dominated my emotional life decades ago. I needed emotional training in the art of non-engagement. I needed to be calm and happy instead of right. I needed the emotionally healing balm of golden silence.
Emotional Training: Silence in AA Meetings
An amazing healing occurred during my twelve years of practicing the spiritual principles of the Twelve Steps at meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous. I have only talked in meetings less than a dozen times! That is one of the reasons I am writing all of these posts on emotional training and intelligence as it relates to recovery of God consciousness. My emotional training ground for Christ consciousness was Primetime AA and I am passing this gift along to young bisexual and pansexual alcoholics and drug addicts with emotional problems. You can do your own emotional training by honestly observing the effect your behaviour causes in your life.
Cause and Effect:
The Evolutionary New Emotional Training Program
This evolutionary emotional training process is called cause and effect. I cause my own problems when I talk too much because it has an annoying effect on people. I have felt the annoying effects upon my psyche caused by other people talking too much and too loudly exactly like I do. I don’t like the effect that frivolous loud talking has upon me. I have trained myself to really listen to my own talking. Some of my social venues are designed for small talk. The $5.00 lunch at the local senior center is designed for small talk. Alcohol rehabilitation treatment hospital process groups are not places for my trash talking gossip laden rants projecting my own self-loathing and hatred onto other people. Silence is golden in the bliss of solitude . . .