Dr. McDuff Gay Mentor
The True Path to Liberation is Internal
As we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. -Marianne Williamson
My gay mentor used sexology to teach me that seeking happiness in someone else is like Sisyphus perpetually rolling the rock of love up that hill of life in perpetuity. The sexual key to pleasure is learning to meet your own erotic needs at a very high level so that you can transmit that to your lover. Seeking legitimacy from a person or group or society can never deliver on its promise. Even in heterosexual culture, external legitimacy can easily turn into enslavement and numbness. If external legitimacy were the answer, heterosexuals would be in heaven. I don’t need anyone to validate me as a bisexual, I do it myself.
This same principle of the false or superficial external legitimacy of being a member of the reigning cult is exemplified by modern Christianity. The over legitimization of the Christ cult had degraded it into mediocrity. In my opinion the same thing degradation has occurred with the gay cult. Now everyone is gay. Gay is just a marketing term like rock and roll.
Some scholars believe that when Roman emperor Constantine legitimized this obscure Jewish cult it was the beginning of the end of the pure spiritual practice because the pure Christ consciousness message became diluted, conformist and mainstream. Christianity today has no resonance of authenticity. The powerful message of love miracles is lost in the faithful believers dogmatic persecution of individual freedom. Christ taught his followers that they should be in heaven with Christ consciousness, not political activism.
In the case of sexuality, with no challenge to their authenticity, billions of heterosexuals have little or no need to wake up from their unconscious state because the warm sugar tit of external acceptance is never pulled away. You don’t need a sexual mentor if you are straight. Homosexuality is totally learned behavior and therefore having a gay mentor makes things much much easier.
The Gay Mentor
Out gay mentors tend to be much more conscious and aware of sex and gender rules because they were compelled by their own nature to reject the warm breast milk of heterosexual society that was poisonous to them. And it was in rejecting what society imposed on them that was right for them and that they knew from personal experience was true. And so the poison turned out to be an elixir because it woke gay men up. That poison milk has transformed my personal life into a hybrid state of being.
This is the true gift to being gay. In contemporary Western society, the common journey of a young gay man is to wake up in a world that is sick with homophobia, but then he hears the call of another belief system, one that indicates he’s perfectly fine, in fact, maybe better than fine: maybe he’s more fabulous, more creative, more interesting, better looking, you name it. So at first he believes he’s inferior, then he is led to believe that he’s fine, and maybe he’s even superior. Maybe he even becomes an online gay mentor to teenagers with questions about androgyny and pansexuality.
You can be in the gay mentor light, but if you are still trying to defeat darkness in others, it means that darkness is still in you, and the longer you continue, the stronger it becomes. Being riddled with fear and trying to exterminate an external evil are the hallmarks of darkness and unconscious living. So it is your darkness with which you must do battle, because it is only your own darkness that you can defeat. That is the hallmark of a conscious person and gay mentor.
Conscious gay mentor activists rest in the truth because they have realized it in themselves. They do not seek from others what they already have, which is a complete sense of validity. They do not create conflict, nor do they confuse themselves with their cause. Instead, coming from a place of peace and awareness, they spread peace and awareness. And this is the mark of the only kind of truly effective activist there is—one who does not expect others to make them right. They know truth, and the truth is that evil does not exist for you if it does not exist in you.
I must sacrifice what ever I think I can get from pretending to be straight for what I can do by being who I am. George Michael has proven that gay can sell. Can a gay mentor sell?
Homophobia is an illusion just like the belief in good and evil. If you believe in homophobia, you project in onto other people and then think that you must resist homophobes. But if you eradicate evil in yourself, in this case manifested as homophobia, it will be seen for what it truly is, an illusion, and it will then disappear.
The most effective way to disempower anything is to realize it does not exist. Ideas are only real to those who believe them: nazism, racism, sexism. Their fictional collective mythologies are real to them because they created them. Old ideas are reheated and instant messiahs claim it is based upon some earlier authority. You create your own reality like I create this webpage. For those of us who do not believe it, it is not real: it is seen for what it is, which is just another illusion which has attained cult status. Once the cult’s bank account attains to a higher level it becomes a religion. Now we have institutionalized mainstream homophobia for a media circus sideshow.
If I am homophobia I will project it and therefore see it everywhere. As with all challenges to my authenticity, homophobia’s effect on my life is not what my inner divinity wants, but it is what I as a whole, conscious being need because it exposes in me an excuse to reject my perfection and deny myself love and happiness. That’s all homophobia is to gay men who believe in it, an excuse, among many others, to hate themselves and other gay men. Homophobia and legitimacy are no different from any of the other forces we have to deal with. It is not a question of wrong or right, gay or straight, top or bottom. It is that they are here for us to grow from.
The only real activism is internal because effective activism is simply an expression of my internal light. Women and minorities pretty much have no choice when it comes to acknowledging what role they play. Gays, on the other hand have a choice.
This choice makes the challenge considerably greater, but it also makes the rewards just as grand. The very act of questioning is the act of waking up. It is looking around the dream and asking, “Is this a dream?” If the dream has conformed to you, you will have no need to question it. But the dream rarely conforms to gay people, and thus we are given a spiritual gift . . . if we choose to take it.
In Western society more and more GLBT people are choosing to take this gift and mentor others in the process. You are a good boy now. But what frequently happens is that these do gooders wake up just enough to switch the dream around to a gay one, then they go right back to sleep. Meanwhile they are still victimized by the old dream, for the dream of external illegitimacy creates the need for the dream of external legitimacy. I see it in the latest gay invention: The Gay Elder Circle. It should be: The Gay Mentor Circle. The gay elder circle seems to me like a blatant attempt to self-validate the gay ego.
If you pick none of the above but instead rely on your own intuition, then you are truly legitimate no matter what any external authority has to say.
Remember, what you judge and criticize the most is what you know to be a part of yourself that you do not want to accept. My gay mentor taught me: You spot it you got it.
The number one truth about homophobia is this: at its deepest core it is a fear and hatred of the feminine in ourselves, which is really a fear and hatred of the power of creation, and that is a fear and hatred of the one, unified force of love, intelligence and creation from which we all come and are an inherent part of, but which we have rejected. Homophobia is simply and expression of my rejection of my anima.
I hereby light the flame in myself by casting away my own darkness. When I become the light, homophobia as an external institution and a powerful force hereby collapse instantaneously because it cannot survive without my support. Let my eternal inner flame of feminine homosexuality burn brightly!
Pay it Forward By Being a Gay Mentor
The quest to feel better by finding God or spirituality, or in classical philosophy, “the Self,” is really a search for deeper meaning which is answered by the question, “Who am I?”
Belief is not the answer, realization that “I AM” is
The answer is the realization that I am eternal pure conscious energy spiritually observing the eternal changes of physical reality. If I identify and attach with anything that I think is me I will limit myself. I will suffer, because one minute it is here, the next it is not. Except for the pain that I endlessly create. Pain can last a long time. Or I can heal it with the help of a gay mentor.
I am the entity that is witnessing all of this. The highest level of awareness it to observe myself as this observer. I become my own gay mentor.
The cosmos is based upon Law of Love: love is freely given so that it may be eternally re-given. The Sun has never told the Earth: “You owe me.” Giving is what the universe does. Giving is what life and love is. Because I am no longer identified with my fear and my need to get, I begin to give freely and see that I am being given to freely as well. I am the universe and give freely unto it as it has given to me.
The gay sexual mentor lives in the eternal present. It is always here, and it is always now.