I Don’t Want to Go Out

Divine Intervention

It took me four months to understand why God does not want me to be a Kundalini Yoga Teacher as taught by Yogi Bhajan. KYT is for householders and I am not a householder. I tried to be a householder but that is not authentically me. I am an independent yogi.  KYT is also a sexual-political diatribe about the coming age of Aquarius in 2035. I seek immediate experience on the yoga mat and keep my politics in the legislative state house. Kundalini yoga as taught by Swami Sivananda is for mystics and that is a little more up my alley. 


Godly Pursuits

How do I really know that I am God? Nobody else cares if I go to two goddamned Kundalini yoga classes every day. Nobody cares if I have mended my promiscuous ways and stopped going to gay bathhouses. How the fuck is anyone else going to really know anyway? I could be lying. The purpose of living a godly life and purifying my body & mind is so that I can self-initiate my personal experience of the Godhead flowing up in me, through me and as me.  In other words, I am God because I say I am God, and if you actually observed me throughout the day you would see that I am working hard to create this Godly experience.

Yes I am frequently an obnoxious asshole, I talk too loud and I piss people off. Monday at lunch I even ate a double double at In-N-Out Burger while wearing my white Kundalini yoga clothes and trying to make an awkward joke about President’s Day to a couple of kids. My transgressions run deep and passionate. But I also usually hop in the shower after every bowel movement to wash my anus with soap and hot water, do you do that? That’s how I know I am Godly.

I Don’t Want to Go Out Anymore

I don’t go out at night anymore.  Last night I was laying in bed thinking about everything going on around me in the city. I even bought some tea to motivate me but I just laid there and went to sleep at 9:00 p.m. because this morning I was in Beverly Hills practicing Kundalini yoga at 7:00 a.m. 

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