BOOSTING YOUR EMOTIONAL QUOTIENT
The following excerpt part two of two from Emotional intelligence: Boosting Your Emotional Quotient (EQ):
Reduction of Negative Emotions
Working with negative emotions is perhaps the most important aspect of EQ. This is because it is paramount that one be in control of their emotions in order to ensure that they do not affect their judgment. In order for an individual to be in a position to change how they feel about a certain situation, they must first be able to change how they think about it.
Reduction of negative emotions begins with the Reduction of Negative Embodiments. This refers to situations where one feels adversely towards another person or their actions. In such a situation, it is important to avoid negative conclusions in your mind as much as possible. Rather, practice the art of viewing a situation through multiple dimensions prior to reacting to it.
When one avoids taking other people’s actions personally, they are able to look at those actions from an objective point of view. Other people’s actions are inspired by their own emotions more than they are by us. This perception widens your perspective and reduces the possibility and occurrence of misunderstandings.
Reducing fear of rejection drives away negative emotions and boosts your EQ
Reduce your fear of rejection by preparing multiple options for yourself in emotional situations. This is to ensure that no matter what the outcome may be, there are equally strong options at your disposal. This will eliminate any negative emotions such as anxiety or depression.
If you are applying for a dream job, apply in numerous different organizations; therefore, if one does not work out, the other options may still be open to you, hence relieving you of a lot of angst.
Aplomb is the Ability to Handle Any Situation
We all experience stress on different levels. Staying calm and managing stressful situations is what determines whether you are an assertive or a reactive person. Are you a poised or an unstable person? When under any kind of pressure, your most important asset is your ability to use your emotional intelligence.
Emotional quotient is the ability to stay calm while handling extremely stressful emotions. There are various practices that can be employed to keep yourself calm. Avoid caffeinated beverages that may heighten your nervousness. Maintain a cool temperature around yourself. Keeping your energy contained and managed is very effective in reducing one’s anxiety or nervousness.
Exercise is a great stress reliever and helps reduce your physical tension, energizes you, keeps you collected, and enables you to deal with stressful emotions. Yoga keeps you calm while boosting your EQ in the process.
Remaining Assertive and Expressing Difficult Emotions
As much as it is good to get along with the people we interact with, to develop healthy emotions, you also need to be assertive and expressive and be able to set appropriate boundaries in order for people to understand where you stand in when you encounter one another.
This entails exercising your right to disagree without necessarily being disagreeable, or being able to say ‘no’ where appropriate without having to feel guilty. Boosting EQ demands that one set their own priorities and protecting oneself from any forms of duress or harm.
When being assertive, it is important to avoid framing statements in such a way that they come off as accusations or judgments because they automatically put the recipient on the defensive, which may result in an unnecessary altercation.
Each individual, no matter how socially inept, has at least one person that they have given they trust and who almost understands them as intimately as they understand themselves.
In scenarios that are stressful, and in situations where you feel overwhelmed by the pressure, it helps to reach out to that individual and ask for a perspective beyond your own; an objective perspective.
This activity will eventually train you to handle situations in an objective manner, hence boosting your emotional quotient even without your awareness.
Constantly trying to handle stressful situations on your own is not independence, it is limiting. It leads to a situation where you are never open to other approaches but your own; therefore, hampering any form of growth in your EQ. Often, all it takes is an external opinion to work through a scenario that is ongoing in your mind.
Bouncing Back from Adversity
Life is not easy all of the time. How we choose to feel or act in response to life’s challenges means the difference between optimism and frustration & victory and defeat. It is important that you look at every situation, especially the negative ones, as a learning experience. Ask yourself, “How can I do better?” “What have I Learnt?” In the immortal words of Thomas Edison, “I have not failed; I have found ten thousand ways that do not work.” Thomas A. Edison went on to invent the light bulb. Adopting this perception on life is one of the strongest ways to boost your EQ and go on to live a successful and fulfilling life.