I AM Free to Become Who I Truly Am


I Am finally free to authentically become who and what I really am. I decided a long time ago that to be sexually successful I would not tell anyone I was bisexual. I told gay people I was gay and I told straight people I was straight. I knew I was bisexual, it was other people that had a problem with understanding sexuality.  Since then my own understanding has grown. 

Thanks to the influence of my mentor and sexologist Paul Allen, MD, I now self-identify as  pansexual. In the modern world you are who you say you are. Telling gay people I was bisexual was always met with comments that I was in denial about being gay. I was willing to look at my so-called denial of my homosexuality. I started self-identifying as gay. I threw myself into gay life at aged 50 and even had a coming out party in Thailand for my 50th Birthday Party. I tried hard to be totally gay and failed. I use gay as an emotional, social, and sexual resource. Men like my androgynous body and I get hit on and well taken care of in the gay world. 

Now I am getting hit on and well taken care of in the straight world also. I am pure masculine consciousness and LA woman is mine. The only place anything happens is within my own consciousness. I used to afraid of having sex with men and so I went out and faced my fears. Homosexuality is learned behavior and I learned a lot. Dr. Allen taught me about love, intimacy and presence. The good doctor trained me in sexology and tantric breathing techniques. We participated in a shamanic ritual with a gay shaman, I was struck gluten free, and my life totally changed for the better because of Paul Allen. 

Now I am on another accelerated transformation into the family of woman again. I am leaving the darkness of wanton gay promiscuity. I am not even attending my usual men’s gathering in Malibu because it is mostly totally gay. There will be a few bisexual nudists however I don’t know of anyone there who identifies as pansexual as I do. There is a new deadly outbreak of bacterial meningitis in the gay community and this is a good catalyst to keep me straight.

I AM Celibate

Now that women respond to me as well as men to I am going to hang out with females for awhile. I am an intentionally celibate man of god receiving everything I need. Thank God I am 58 years old and I can transmute my sexual energy into creative expression of the divine. I am married to God and we only make love to each other.  

By Dean McAdams

Born a poor peckerwood in a Tujunga holler, Dean practiced secrets of the ancient & modern masters to end up liberated in the coastal paradise of West L.A.