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THE NEW CYBER EGO: Narcissism, Infantile Ego and the Need for Immediate Gratification

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recovering god consciousness by meditation
I Said Meditate, Not Masturbate!


The New Pop High


Reaching inside of yourself for a hit of God consciousness can satisfy your emotional cravings better than reaching outside of yourself for that shot of masturbation flavored cyber ego called anonymous gay sex. Meditation can quiet the mind so that you may develop the self-honesty and intuition required for healing emotional disorders such as narcissism.

Alcoholism, narcissism and aberrated homosexuality are all characterized by the infantile ego’s need for immediate gratification. Learn to delay and transmute infantile egoic desire and libido by meditating yourself into God consciousness.

My introduction to American New Thought and spiritual mind treatment began by watching the late great Rev. David Walker talk about Religious Science and Science of Mind on public access cable TV in 1992.  Then in 2008 at the Agape Freedom Path Ministry, the late Fiorenza Crawford introduced me to Christian mystic and meditation teacher Joel S. Goldsmith.

Goldsmith, kundalini yoga and white tantra meditation are my personal applications of spiritual practice for recovering God consciousness.    

Treat your emotional dependencies with Religious Science. There are Science of Mind Practitioners at Agape who will show you how to recover God consciousness by practicing healing meditation. Walk straight through the main doors, turn right when you walk past the sanctuary and hop into Room No. 2 on your left like you own the place and say: “Yo where’s the Rev? Dean McAdams sent me!”

Primetime Alcoholics Anonymous Meeting god consciousness recovery agape

There is No Religious Science
5700 Buckingham Parkway
Culver City, CA 90230


As a recovering alcoholic my diseased thinking requires constant spiritual treatment. It has been twelve years since my last drink but it has only been three weeks since my last emotional fast fix with fast gay sex ordered online from Craigslist. Currently I am renting a huge villa in the gay resort mecca of Palm Springs and so the opportunity for immediate gay sex is right outside my door. The complex I live in is half-gay and normally I would be out at the pool looking for a few elderly gay neighbors as sheep to sheer for financial and emotional gain. I’ve watched them through the corners of my eyes checking me out. Master Manipulator Rule No. 1: Never go to them, always make them come to you.

Mainly I try to live a life of kundalini yoga, meditation and white tantra. I pray for intentional celibacy. However as a professional narcissist I also have an advanced solo sexual practice for when I need instant gratification. I’m really jaded on clinical professional homosexuality as a full-time permanent lifestyle. Lately recovering God consciousness is my drug and that means delaying sexual and emotional gratification. We are all addicted to something that takes the pain away. Recovering God consciousness works better than any sex or drug because it is an infinite and constant source of emotional well-being.

recovering god consciousness at agape
That Quick-Fix Sex-Date We Met Each Other On is Really Just Mutual Masturbation, Get Real Satisfaction With Group Meditation at Agape!

Sooth the Infantile Ego by Recovering God Consciousness

Recovering God Consciousness is the final frontier for the recovering alcoholic. God either exists in my own day-to-day consciousness or God does not exist at all. My recovery exists in my own day-to-day consciousness or not at all. If I am gratifying my infantile ego by having anonymous sex instead of going to a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous then I am not in God consciousness and I am not in recovery consciousness, I am in ego consciousness.

THE DELUSION OF EGO:  When I successfully identify, pursue and achieve physical intimacy with another person, place or thing my infantile ego says: “Good boy, you exist and are validated because some creepy old desert queen wants to show you off to his geriatric naked lunch club.”

As a narcissist I am unable to distinguish myself from the other. I think I am in a relationship with my lover but I am really just an emotional vampire engaging in the advanced mutual masturbation known as promiscuous gay sex. I can see the alarming effect my intensely emotional personality has on other people. By slowing down and looking at myself I can become more fully aware of who I really am and how other people really see me. I think I am a clever elitist who is smarter and sexier than everyone else. I am really just an infantile ego flailing about recklessly trying to escape pain and pursue pleasure.

The Infantile Ego Recovering God Consciousness

The first step in recovery is to identify my infantile ego and its’ unreasonable needs. Then I ask God to remove my need to have older men take care of me emotionally, financially and sexually. I see how ridiculously submissive I am, even with women. I visualized giving my malady to unified consciousness for spiritual prayer mind treatment. My filthy little ego is washed, purified and transformed into clean clear Christ flavored consciousness. In God consciousness there is no gay or straight.


infantile ego god consciousness recoveryRecovering God Consciousness Means Transcending Both Gay and Straight

In Christ there is no East or West. In yoga there is no gay or straight. Both attain to pure consciousness with no bodily form.  Transcend your libido by transmuting sexual energy into spiritual service. When the kundalini yogi has attained to samadhi she experiences everything as pure consciousness. 


By Dean McAdams

Born a poor peckerwood in a Tujunga holler, Dean overeducated himself beyond his social station to end up a retired paralegal in the coastal paradise of West L.A.