life

Walk into the light

 

What Does Life Mean?

 

Your brain is part of the big bang.  Actually your consciousness contained within your brain pan is a biological manifestation of universal eternally expanding consciousness.  Your ever expanding consciousness is your real job and your connection to eternity your destiny.  Your life is your consciousness.  Are you contemplating existence and finding your own answers from within?  All great sages teach that the answers come from within.  

The meaning of your life is the experience of your life.  Did you connect with something really big while you were here?  Did you experience the divine power of primal creation in a way that has meaning only to you?  Did you form a personal relationship with the universe?  

I need quiet. I need that which is eternal. I need peace and quiet to pray, meditate and live my destiny with God.  

 

Karaoke Konsciousness

 

Last night I went to a karaoke bar for the first time in years. My new and future landlord asked me to meet him there.  It was an amazingly quick ten minute drive from my current residence.  The foreignness of the loud night time neighborhood entertainment scene was like a vacation to a planet in outer space.  I usually only drive through the hip loud parts of town, rarely stopping in these days.  I only go out late at night to eat and rarely that.  I have become a morning and day person always in bed by 10:00 p.m.

Being at the Bullet Bar on Burbank Blvd. in NoHo until midnight was a much needed shot of diversity. I used to live in bars.  Rock bars on Sunset Blvd., dive bars in North Hollywood, sex bars all over the world.  Now that I don’t drink bars remind me of my favorite science fiction movies. We travel to find ourselves and I feel like I just took a little mini-trip to San Francisco.  I have returned home from my trip and am in my usual post-travel reflective mood.  At one time in my life need night life and now I need meditation life.

Life is measured by the character we become and the experiences we have. We become most like the people we hang out with. I laugh at my own character and my running around looking for love instead of meditating and living a life of contemplation.  

Five years ago someone came along and loved me.  It was one of the greatest gifts anyone ever gave me.  I almost missed out on the real feeling of love. Now I am addicted to human intimacy and gushing with love.  My meditation life is suffering as a result of my attachment to human tactile stimulation.  Last Sunday morning at 6:30 a.m. I was deep in conversation with a man in the desert instead of live streaming my meditation service.  I actually put down my iPhone with my meditation teacher live streaming and turned it off to be with a human being in the desert instead of God and a meditation teacher in Culver City.

 

My Life is a Love Affair With Emotion For Right Now

 

Today when I am with my lover I gush with emotions that are totally new to me.  I am 58 years old and having totally new erotic experiences every few months.  Earlier this year a lover totally shaved my armpits for the very first time.  I was amazed that I have never shave my armpits before.  One month ago I shaved my entire body except for my eyebrows.  I even detailed the spots on the backs of my thighs and little places I missed the next day.  I shaved my body to honor my mentor Dr. McDuff. The Doc shaves monthly as a ritual of purity and so I emailed him that I was shaving. The duality of flesh and spirit balance me out at last.

I am fulfilling the purpose of my life. The purpose of my life is to connect to the infinite.  I am connecting to the infinite and I am also connecting to the finite.  Thanks to the miracle of live streaming I am also connecting to my meditation teacher and spiritual community, except when I choose not to be connected.  I am choosing to be connected and I am choosing to be disconnected.  I am interconnected to everyone and dependent upon no one.  For now.  In this present mind, this present moment.