Now I Have Become a Navel-Gazing Lotus-Eater
The first time I heard the term lotus-eater I erroneously assumed that it was a derogatory term used to denote a navel-gazer. I heard “lotus-eater” in a spy movie and I thought the term meant living like a Buddhist monk. So this morning I looked up lotus-eater and discovered that the Lotus-eaters were a tribe in Greek mythology who spent more time in luxurious rather than practical living. Therefore I guess you can just call me a lotus-eating navel-gazer.
Supplemental Disability Income
Yesterday I had a telephone consultation with an attorney about the possibility of filing a claim for supplemental disability income related to my Lou Gehrig’s Disease. The solicitor informed me that since I am already collecting early retirement benefits and eating lotus flowers while gazing at my navel in a luxurious continuing care retirement community that my chances of collecting any “welfare” money were nil. So I guess I will just eat a few lotus petals and gaze at my navel to manifest a more abundant lifestyle.
Lately I have really been taking control of breakfast in the dining room. Yesterday I even asked the food director herself to please change the dining room clock to “Fall back” to Pacific Standard Time. The people of California overwhelming voted to eliminate Daylight Savings Time but we haven’t seen it yet. So I made the world a better place by having the clock corrected for sixty-eight senior citizens. Does it make me feel good? Yes. It just felt good to accomplish something real while sitting with a bunch of old geezers babbling just to hear the sound of their own utterances.
I made a suggestion to the Food Committee to add some frozen yogurt to the menu. Somehow my suggestion turned into a suggestion for the home to purchase a frozen yogurt machine. So yesterday I totally took control of the breakfast conversation by setting things straight and opining that purchasing a frozen yogurt machine for a bunch of ninety year old people is a bad idea. The old people would not eat the frozen yogurt. So please just buy a gallon of frozen yogurt and see how long it lasts.