You Are an Experiencer, Not a Lazy Suzan Limiting Label

Men Who Have Sex With Men is the New Gay

You are an experiencer not a label. You must have your own experience in order to learn. You can’t just call yourself a guitar player until you have played guitar for at least a few months or so. You can’t call yourself gay or bisexual until you have a few years of experience having sex with other boys or men. If you are a teenager considering gender reassignment please stop and meditate on nothing for a while before you continue thinking about gender transformation. Sometimes a total sex change may or not be necessary. We live in a fast paced gender blender world. Sometimes slowing down with meditation can be more fun than wearing a dress or playing guitar.

men who have sex with men

Gay is a meaningless word just like rock and roll or death metal. Have you ever heard the middle-of-the-road sugar pop music of a Palm Desert, California band called the Eagles of Death Metal? EODM are the band that was on stage performing at the Bataclan Theatre in the December 2015 three pronged Paris terrorist attacks.

Over eighty people were killed by gunfire and bombs while listening to a band that has a Frank Zappa tongue-in-cheek attitude minus the extraordinary musicianship and creativity of the late great Freak Zipper. EODM are really just lightweight commercial party rockers and so having the words death metal in their name really comes off as a publicity stunt. If you are going to market yourself as death metal you have a lot to live up do and EODM do not.

male to male sexIf you are going to call label yourself by your sexuality you should identify in the category of men who have sex with men or males who have sex with males because gay is as meaningless as desert stoners calling themselves death metal.

Axl Rose calls EODM the Pigeons of Shit Rock. EODM live in my desert neighborhood but I am not posting any video or positive reviews of them because they totally suck so don’t waste your time or your money on such soporific mediocrity. They have their little DIY Burning Man-Coachella hipster scene in Joshua Tree with the rock climbers and Indians if you are so inclined.


My high school friend Peter Krueger once had his country rock band all wear sunglasses and he tried to call it “country metal”. I felt like I had been ripped off driving five miles to hear them play for free at a dive bar in Sylmar.

Everybody is trying to sell you some bullshit especially if it is labeled rock and roll, so be skeptical of anyone trying to sell you something styled as cool or youth oriented. Rock and roll has degraded into Gerber baby food in my opinion. After living with David Bowie, the Sex Pistols, and Ramones it is very difficult to get interested in the new mini-corporate pop machine sound.

This blog asks the really hard questions. Do you really like today’s kiddie rock and roll? If you do fine but most of what I see & hear, even the well written songs, is third-generation hand-me-down Walt Disney rock. Eclectic, inventive, fun, non-commercial rock music like the late great Frank Zappa saved my life. Frank said that whenever his kids brought home new music he would ask them: “Do you listen to it because you like it or do you listen to it because your friends like it?”

Here is the song Montana from Frank’s album Apostrophe. This always takes me on a trip when I listen to it. I listen to music because I like it. I hang out with people because I like them not because they are hip, cool or stylish. I do the things I want to do, not to reciprocate because you did it for me.

The point of this article is that the colloquialisms rock and roll, death metal and gay have all degraded into meaningless marketing terms used to sell anal lubricant, entertainment and other various and sundry pop culture artifacts.

commercial gay scene

Do you really like the commercial gay scene? Gay Pride is just another street fair to sell products and services to mainstream consumers. Let the buyer beware. Gay has degraded into the shrill banality of mainstream pop culture. I self identify as pansexual or bisexual, it riles up the militant gays and I get off on it. I like being subversive in my submissiveness. Sometimes I will call myself queer or homosexual. I do the things I like to do, it is hard not to get swept up the gay commercial social scene. My hard earned cash is good anywhere and I prefer to socialize in the straight world.

I don’t like the word gay because I associate it with nightlife and the scene. I don’t really resonate with the gay scene. I prefer the yoga scene, sex resort scene or the bliss of the solitude scene where everything is happening and more. The gay social scene does not resonate with me. I’m only in it for the great sex. Lately I prefer to self identify with the epidemiologist coined terminology Men Who Have Sex With Men (MSM) and that is why I am speed blogging this rant.

retail homosexual culture

Men Who Have Sex With Men Includes Heterosexuals

Words, labels and pigeonholes always fall short of describing any actual item. Describing the glory holes, butt holes and other various and sundry forms of male sexuality with the phrase men who have sex with men or males who have sex with males is much more descriptive than the word gay.

I like the rush of being the submissive partner with men. Most men who have sex with men are like me, they want to be the total bottom receiving the energy of a total top. Only 17% of MSM are total tops. Therefore I am not attracted to most gay men. All I have to do is hang out long enough and a dominant MSM of some type will come along. Heterosexual MSM on the DL (down low) can gratify me sexually but not emotionally because totally heterosexual men do not kiss.

The point is not to limit yourself by the circumstantial cultural truth of mainstream society. Many men who perform gay sex in videos for websites such as hdtubemovies are completely straight away from the camera. Just because you have MSM does not mean you are gay, homosexual or queer. You are not even really pansexual or bisexual. You are a human being on your way to your ultimate destiny as pure formless consciousness reunited with that from whence you came. Along the way maybe you will find out something about yourself with some clean wholesome MSM with someone you know and care about.


If you try something and don’t like it, be careful if you keep doing it because you may get so used to it that it takes you over and becomes you. Don’t get boiled alive like the MSM frog who gets so used to being in a pot of hot BDSM fetishists that he transforms from MSM to totally gay.

If you are a teenager or young adult please keep your sexual options open. MSM will always be there for you. You may want to open your mind to finding a cool church in your area like Oasis or a Center for Spiritual Living: CSL.

If you are going to label yourself by your sexuality then think about it. Are you a teenager or young adult in the category of men who have sex with men or males who have sex with males or have you limited yourself to the word gay because you heard it on TV or everybody else is saying it? Just enjoy the great sex. It gets better . . .

men who have sex with men
Men Who Have Sex With Men? I’ll Be There Soon, I Just Haven’t Met the Right Man Yet.

By Dean McAdams

Born a poor peckerwood in a Tujunga holler, Dean practiced secrets of the ancient & modern masters to end up liberated in the coastal paradise of West L.A.