There has been a miracle of pain healing in my life as a result of writing these blogs about healing posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) with eye movement desensitizing and reprocessing. (EMDR). The key to this method is to meditate the broken parts and integrate them into a newly purified whole.


Was it spiritual or did I just experience a mental healing? If I spontaneously healed three levels of pain while meditating and visualizing a fantasy session with an insurance approved acupuncturist, that is a mental healing and not spiritual, correct? As much as I want my healing to fall under the heading of modern mystical experience, I may have to chalk this miracle of pain healing up to visualization. I was visualizing traditional Chinese medicine being performed on my body in a future appointment at an acupuncture clinic. My imaginary clinic is in Long Beach, California near the pain doctor who is referring me.

miracle of pain healing internal landscape body keeps the score (2014) bessel van der kolk


Acupuncture. Just thinking about acupuncture made my post herpetic neuralgia pain decrease. It’s this healing mode of mind that I am in. Everything in my life is a miracle of pain healing. Psychiatrists told me I would never get well. Then I began treatment with a certified EMDR therapist. The miracle of pain healing using EMDR to heal my PTSD. My pain level went from a seven down to three.

This is the story of how I blogged my way into uncovering the defect known as my personality using the work of Bessel van der Kolk, M.D.

My Monday afternoon appointment with the pain doctor in Long Beach

I told someone that I had an appointment with a pain doctor. They said, “Do they use acupuncture?” I said, I don’t know. I will find out. Sure enough the pain doctor is referring me to an acupuncture doctor. I don’t know anything about acupuncture I just visualized the pins placed on my upper body in the shape of my pain body. Suddenly my pain level went down three notches.

Today my pain died. It was a result of the work I have done with eye movement desensitizing and reprocessing (EMDR). I have a weekly Zoom session with a certified EMDR therapist. I wrote ten blogs from TBKTT. I am manifesting my own healing by following Dr. van der Kolk’s instructions in his amazing book.

We become what we think about

I spend my pandemic isolation in contemplation and meditation upon universal healing. By spending the last five days in EMDR therapy with Dr. Bessel van der Kolk there has been a tremendous shift in my self-leadership skills. For the next few days I will read and work with my last posts on healing. Writing these blogs is how I make sense of the miracle of pain healing that is happening with me. I am intuitively knowing what blogs and what parts of me to delete. There is no need to protect anything from anyone anymore. Now I can let my guard down and become a normal decent human being.

By Dean McAdams

Born a poor peckerwood in a Tujunga holler, Dean practiced secrets of the ancient & modern masters to end up liberated in the coastal paradise of West L.A.