Scatological Alchemy

My second gay adolescence was created after being funded in major part by academic grants and per diems obtained on  One of my favorite aspects of the gay lifestyle was being on the earn while you learn program.  An Ivy League education of sorts began in 2010 in Providence, Rhode Island. My scatological gynecologist lover Dr. Paul Allen, M.D. requested that I defecate and urinate into his mouth for the first time at our hotel near his alma mater, Brown University.  The good doctor was paying me a token per diem and taking care of my hotel and air fare.  

scatological alchemy

The Way Out Is Straight Through

Throughout our relationship I could always pee into his mouth but I could never bring myself to actually shit into Dr. Allen’s mouth because it revolted me and actually turned my stomach. I almost vomited trying to shit into Paul Allen’s mouth.  My initial attraction to Dr. Allen was his freakishness and unusual lifestyle.  Seven years later this had evolved into a highly developed revulsion for both the doctor and many deviant aspects of the gay lifestyle such as scat and golden showers. Dr. Allen cured me of much of my emotional brokenness that was being manifested by my promiscuous gay sexuality.  I just had to spend 15 years getting gay life totally out of my system.  I had to be gay until I was sick and tired of being gay.  Thanks to Dr. Allen I no longer need to visit gay bathhouses to obtain human validation.

Earn While You Learn

Another major problem was that the good doctor could not manage to lift his own body weight up off of the shower stall floor afterwards.  Dr. Allen’s hip surgeries and sedentary lifestyle had rendered him semi-ambulatory at age 76.  I would laboriously lift up his pee soaked body from the shower stall after I gave him his requested golden shower. Dr. Allen would grab me with his pee soaked arms as I was hauling his 300 pounds of dead weight up out of the piss slippery tile floor.  He was dripping in my pee as I held my gag reflex as he hugged me to his body and kissed me like a hungry child.  It was simultaneously revolting and attractive with the ubiquitous pornographic intensity of gay life.  Dr. Allen paid me $5.00/per hour to learn about homosexuality by direct experience.  Gay for pay, welcome to my world.  

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Turning Shit Into Art

I never actually shit into Dr. Paul Allen’s mouth because I didn’t want him to rub my own shit all over my body like he rubbed my own pee all over when I gave him his beloved golden showers.  I never shit into the scatological Ivy League physician’s mouth because I didn’t want to eat my own shit when he kissed me.  Throughout our tumultuous relationship it was always a bone of contention between Dr. Paul McDuff Allen, obgyn and myself.  My inability to shit into his mouth and gratify his needs was a major disappointment to him.  When our relationship was on the downward trajectory Dr. Allen opined that I we were not equal.  In order to rectify that inequity I think I may have finally found a way to shit into Dr. Allen’s mouth as a literary device by writing these semi-autobiographical blogs about Scatological Alchemy.

scatological alchemy

Digital Scatological Freedom

When I first met Dr. Allen he wooed me by stimulating my prostate gland with his finger.  It felt so good that I moved in with him for two years.  When he stopped putting his finger up my butt hole I moved out.  Now I put my own finger up my butt hole and it feels even better than Dr. Paul Allen finger fucking me.  If you want something done right, it is best to perform that task yourself. 

What Dr. Allen really taught me was the importance of self-reliance.  He prepared me for retirement.  I have had so many experiences, I have joined so many organizations and read so many books that I can now confidently retire from the human scene.  Now my anal masturbation is so advance that any potential lover must be a highly advanced masculine power top to interest me.  I have become extremely discerning.  I have become fully sexually healed and so being with someone like Dr. Allen does not gratify me anymore.  Sometimes I get the urge to have a fat, ugly old man suck my cock but then I think it through.  There is no point or gratification from old men like Dr. Shrek Allen anymore.  I wish there was.  I am sorry for myself on one gross level that I can no longer take delight in the gay bath house or $10.00 residential sex party. 

Now I have to do the hard work of creating an entirely new social life for myself.  However right now I am in the waiting room of life.  I am waiting to go to Northern California for my glorious retirement in urban splendor. I am on the waiting list for paradise in my new chaste lifestyle.