ENERGY WORK: Emotionally Heal Yourself From Your Powerful Ex-Lover, Who Is Now Too Hurtful For You to Be With

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Solve Emotional Problems by Transmuting Love Energy

Don’t Throw the Baby Out With the Bathwater

Grieve the Loss of Your Lover, Keep Your Experience of Love


Solve emotional problems by transmuting grief for your lost lover into love consciousness. Realize that your lover was only just the messenger boy sent by God. The message was love and it needed to be delivered to you in person. You can’t get your love from a book or a webpage. Love must be transmitted by experience from your mother or caregivers to you. Or you can learn love from a messenger, just like I did. The messenger delivered your message to you and now he is gone because he has other messages to deliver. You thought you were the only one? Ha ha ha, that’s what they all say! 

It’s not the loss of your lover you are grieving, it’s the loss of the feeling of love that hurts. Why cause your own suffering by hanging on your “one-and-only” while ignoring the millions of other possibilities right outside your door?

You already know that your memories can transmute that feeling of love back into the present. So can the trees, mountains and sunlight of the spirit. Let the soft energy of your grief take you beyond time and space and empower you to look beyond the illusions of the temporal world. Lovers come and go, but the love they delivered remains in your heart. 

Before you can go out and look for another lover you have to complete the emotional transaction by identifying the essence of what it is you are grieving from your last lover. “She is gone but she left me with this joy.” “He is gone but he left me with this confidence.”

Don’t act in desperation by running out of the Psych Ward For Wounded Lovers still dressed in your hospital gown. At least make sure your gown flaps are properly tied up in the rear because your next lover doesn’t want a desperate child excitedly seeking to have a painful needy hole filled up. Nobody wants to be with someone who feels incomplete. Ask your doctor if you should get involved with someone who has surgical blood all over their chest and tubes hanging out of their arms. 

Transmute your sorrowful love energy for the person into the tangible thing of love itself. I solve my own emotional problems by transmuting my unhealthy dependence on other people, places and things into healthy dependence on spirit. No one person delivers all the goods, perfect lovers are in short supply, but the qualities, feelings and love they deliver to your bedroom are not. Not all men are tall, young, wealthy and single, but if I see one I’ll tell him you’re waiting. 

Transmutation Lesson:  Sitting in my backyard meditating while gazing at the orange tree I felt my feelings for my powerful ex-lover energetically transfer into the life force of the tree itself. Realizing that I had control of this energy I then transfered it from the tree into myself. I transmuted the love energy from my lover into the tree and then into myself. I began learning the ins and outs of working with love as pure energy with the flavor of the lover who fed it to me.



I was not in love with Dr. McDuff, I was in love with the feeling he gave me. I was in love with the tantra and sacred intimacy. My ego was in love with being in a relationship with someone accomplished and powerful who had lots of important friends. Men with beautiful families in-tow would walk up to him in airports with their hand outstretched: “Dr. McDuff, here are my kids you delivered ten years go, great to see you in New Orleans, are you moving back here?” That was such a major turn on!  Plus he let me and my dog move out of my RV and into his house, took me to New York twice and provided lots of other financial & emotional support.


I wasn’t in love with my lover I was in love with the life. I was Pygmalion, Audrey Hepburn in My Fair Lady and Huckleberry Finn all rolled into one. I was social climbing instead of being an authentic lover among lovers. I was in love with the ego trips my lover took me on. 

You also were not in love with that other person, he was just a reflection of the quality of love in your own soul. You were in love with the love that your lover reflected back at you. Your lover simply brought out something that was already inside of you waiting to manifest and embody itself as your “love affair.” You can go out and search again or better yet, search within.


Solve Emotional Problems With Visualization

You can heal yourself and your your gay love sick teenager with learning to solve emotional problems by transmuting grief for the lost lover into healing love energy. 

Your mind has the imaginative ability to visualize your own healing. Your power of imagination can transcend space and time to help solve emotional problems with people, places and things too dangerous to be around. If you imagine you can, you can.  

Visualize and feel the love from your ex-lover transmitting into the emotion of pure love consciousness. Can you shift this energy around? Can you turn it on and off and make it feel stronger and weaker, faster and slower? Simply visualize that you can. You can if you think you can. 

My near death experience from stress-induced heart failure opened a wound into my consciousness that woke me up to a new love and reverence for the transitory nature of my very existence. At my current age of sixty years old I have been truly humbled by the reality that every day is really a precious gift now. I am really happy just to be alive. The things in life that were once important to me seem so trivial now. My pathetically desperate search for love, sex and money no longer serves me anymore.  Attachment leads to grief and there is not really that much worth attaching to in the material world.

Saddened and slowed down into a new soft energy my heart explodes over the desert landscape in slow motion as I flow into the stillness of my own soul. I solve emotional problems by returning to baseline consciousness during meditation. True self-recovery doesn’t begin until I have the courage to listen, identify and feel my deep pain. I have learned to solve emotional problems by transmuting the love and the pain into the pure consciousness of love and then learning how to work with that pure love energy. 


By Dean McAdams

Born a poor peckerwood in Tujunga, CA, Dean mastered secrets of the ancient grifters in order to elevate himself.